Still alive!

It has been over a month since I have posted anything on here. I wouldn't be lying if I said I have not tried, but to be honest, the effort just wasn't fully there, hence the silence in my posts. It has been a crazy couple of months. I have been through a lot of life-altering changes including graduating from college and working full-time at a 9-5 job. The lifestyle change was a big one for me. Every summer before this was care-free, spent mostly in a bathing suit, surrounded by friends. While I have always worked every summer since I was fourteen, this summer is significantly different because I have a "big-girl" job. I can't go out and party all night long before a work-day like I used to be able to. Trust me I learned that the hard way. In addition to that, when I go to work, I am expected to look and dress a certain way. Which means I can't show up and throw on a uniform and look like I always do. I have to dress the part I am playing now, which is myself, it turns out, but in a professional work environment. Just a few months ago, the extent of my everyday "getting ready" ritual was a shower (maybe), make-up (HA...yeah right), hair (if I was lucky enough to wake up on time), and a cute outfit (and by cute I mean yoga pants/sweat pants, a t-shirt and my chucks). These days, I need at least an hour and a half to get ready for work. It sucks. 

BUT. Do I want to go back? No fucking way. 

Having a full-time job has been both an adjustment and a learning experience for me that I hadn’t quite expected! I might have had to be up earlier for college classes, but I could show up in yoga pants and a sweatshirt and still look more on the “dressier” side. Which makes me sound lazy, but at least I wasn’t wearing pajamas! (some students did wear pajamas!)

But really, I did it because I could, and because I knew I wouldn’t be able to after graduation.

If I had the choice though, I would never go back to college- or at least that time period. 

My life has been changing so quickly over the last five years that I think part of the adjustment included feeling like my life would slow down now.  Some people say that the best years of their life were in college and that from now on all there is to look forward to is working.

But, the more I think about it, the more I feel like this is only the beginning. I worked so hard my entire life to get to this place I am at now and now, there is nothing and no one stopping me from doing whatever I want with my life. And, there are so many things I want to do with my life! I know that not everyday is going to be easy, but not everyday is going to be hard either. And so far, with each new day at my new job, there was something new to learn. Sometimes, it’s more of an abstract lesson, like, to be more assertive and to stand my ground. Running a business is hard, and I am just the administrative assistant! But, if I ever wanted to run my own business one day, I think I am getting a front row seat on how it all works, something that could be useful down the line. 

I had a great time in college. I met the best friends I could ever ask for, I learned a lot about myself (without even really knowing it), and I made it to this place I am at now. But college cannot last forever, and I wouldn’t want it to. I think I am happy just knowing I will have those memories from college and they will be what lasts forever. The way I see it, certain moments or years of my life weren’t necessarily better than others, they were all amazing and have led me to where I am right now, at this moment. I look forward to having the best years of my life and the greatest moments of my life everyday, for the rest of my life!

food for thought. 

xo e